By Greg Reller This blog is a companion to one written by my wife Carol. We thought it might help other ND marriages to see both of our views of the types of changes we have attempted to improve our marriage relationship. I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 (ASD1 or Aspergers Syndrome) about 10 years ago and about 25 years after we were married. Like many in similar relationships (Uniquely Us-Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Chapt

By Barbara Grant, MMFT, CAS, NDCC Many neurodiverse couples seeking marriage help share a commitment to improving their relationship. In these cases, couples coaching can help partners address problems, strengthen their connection, and work together toward acceptance and change. Models like the Hope for Couples Roadmap to Hope and Healing© can be very effective over the 6-12 months of time a couple invests. But sometimes partners begin coaching in very different places. One

By Carol Reller Ten years ago, I realized my husband Greg had Autism Level 1 (then Asperger’s). Some of the details are in this past blog. https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/post/what-i-didn-t-know-hurt-me . So, I wanted to share what has changed and what hasn’t in those ten years. My husband is still autistic. Yes, that doesn’t change. It doesn’t get fixed, or go away with meds or therapy. Therefore, he still has the traits that go along with being autistic.

By NeuroDiverse Couple Ginny & Tommy Smith I would imagine most wives go into a marriage having grown up with the dream that the husband is to be trustworthy, a good communicator, a provider, taking initiative, being accountable and is responsible for the family's spiritual, financial, and overall well-being. At the same time there being shared decision -making and the wife looking to him for support, comfort and protection. And when this doesn’t happen what do you do? We

Author: Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Certified Autism Specialist A Story About Missing Context: How ND Literal Reporting Can Derail Coaching When Mark met Lily, he was enchanted by her independence and drive. She was a graphic designer who traveled often for work and loved spending weekends hiking or painting. In their early dating conversations, Lily said, “I’m not domestic at all. I’m never home, I don’t organize, I don’t decorate, and I don’t fold laundry. If you’re looking fo

BARBARA GRANT, MMFT, CAS, NDCC JANUARY 15, 2026 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) “You need to feel in order to heal … and feeling safe is a sensory experience .” Jesus’ words in the Beatitudes are often quoted, but rarely practiced. We affirm the promise of comfort, yet subtly resist the path that leads there: mourning. In many Christian spaces, grief is tolerated only under very specific conditions—most often when someone dies. De

Why Siloed 1:1 Work- Doesn’t Work! Author: Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Certified Autism Specialist I hope that in this series, I have laid the foundation for the position that 1:1 work cannot be done in a silo without context. If you have not been following the series, number 2 in the series on autobiographical memory/narrative would be a helpful read first. Truth vs. Accuracy: Autobiographical Memory Recall in Coaching One couple I worked with, let’s call them Bob (autistic hus

By Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Autism Specialist, with Dan Holmes, NeuroDiverse Couples’ Coaches In nearly every marriage-coaching case we work with, there comes a moment—especially when coaching autistic adult men—when the spouse asks in frustration: “How can we do progress-based coaching if my husband doesn’t remember the events the way I do?” Or the autistic husband genuinely insists: “That’s not how it happened. I don’t remember it like that.” And both feel stuck, invalidate

Author: Dr. Stephanie Holmes, Certified Autism Specialist A Letter to the Neurotypical Wife Who Just Wants Her Husband to Do His Own Work: The difference between individual work and siloed work A Series On “Acceptance” of Neurodiversity and What NeuroDiverse Marriage Means I love it that so many wives who come to work with me or one of the coaches in the International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages referral network are getting stronger, finding their voice, s

Author: Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Certified Autism Specialist Reader/Listener’s Question: Is it an NT/ND thing or a male/female thing? All the men in my church's men’s group have the same struggle joining the emotional bandwagon, and they aren’t all ND. So how do you distinguish the difference between typical male/female thinking and NT/ND thinking?” Common Refrain: Stephanie, when I tell my [counselor, pastor, friend, group, pastor’s wife…] about my marriage, I feel like I am

By Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS "Resentment (bitterness) is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Saint Augustine of Hippo (Note: For this blog, I’ll be referring to the NT partner as “her” or “wife” and to the ND partner as “he” or “husband.” No exclusions or offense intended!) It’s not uncommon that bitterness evolves in neurodiverse marriages. Because of the “double empathy” problem (where both partners fail to understand each other’s perspectiv

Part 2 of 2 by Jeremy Rochford TI-CLC, C-MHC, C-YMHC How to Heal from RSD — Self-Advocating with Awareness It’s important to note. Healing doesn’t mean you never feel rejection. It means you stop letting your triggers get the best of you and take an active role in reducing your impulsive reactions. Here’s where I’ve found the most success, not only in my life, but in helping others. 1. Be Honest and Name It. When that emotional wave hits, recognize it and say, “My brain is

Part 1 of 2 by Jeremy Rochford TI-CLC, C-MHC, C-YMHC What do we want? A BLOG ABOUT REJECTION SENSITIVITY DYSPHORIA!!!! When do we want it? NOW!!!!!!! When will we get it? See, that’s the problem. I’m not quite sure. On one hand, if I write a blog and you don’t like it, then it proves my writing has been a waste of time. But if I do write it, and you happen to enjoy it, then that means everything else I write must be as agreeable. But, on the other hand, if I don’t write the

Exciting Changes Coming January 2026 Plus, We’re on Patreon! Dan & Stephanie As we step into 2026, we’re thrilled to share that some exciting updates are coming to the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples Podcast! Our heart’s desire has always been to keep the podcast free and accessible . Many of our listeners, especially those serving overseas in the military or in missions and ministry, rely on these conversations as a vital resource. And because of your encouragement and req

By Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS Receiving an adult autism diagnosis—whether for yourself or your spouse—can be a life-altering experience. While it may bring clarity and relief, it can also stir deep and complex emotions as you process what it means for your life and marriage. For many, the diagnosis explains years of struggle, miscommunication, or emotional disconnection. It can feel like finally finding the missing puzzle piece that makes sense of everything. Yet, as the

Ginny Smith Part 2 As we changed course the beginning of 2024 to learn this entire new language, this would end up being the longest stretch of incredibly rough waters that would leave us feeling depleted. Tommy’s stress rose to an all time high that would ultimately take him out of the game of life for 3 months and later into the hospital. In my learning and finding answers things were making sense, however my frustration grew because yet again Tommy was no longer rowing.

An interview with Pastor Josh Davis based on an upcoming podcast on Just the Guys By Dan Holmes When we launched this “Just the Guys”...

Part 1 of 2 Guest Authors: Ginny & Tommy Note: Listen up for when Ginny & Tommy will be guests on NeuroDiverse Christian Couples Podcast...

Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS Marriage is sacred, but for neurodiverse couples, it can also be sanctifying in uniquely difficult ways. Many Christian husbands on the autism or ADHD spectrum deeply love their wives but wrestle with confusion, shame, and exhaustion in trying to meet relational expectations that don’t come naturally. Their hearts are willing—but their neurology can make ordinary connection feel like climbing a mountain. Here’s what many of these husbands lon

Marriage is a journey filled with joys, challenges, and opportunities for growth. For couples where one partner is autistic – and there...