By Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Autism Specialist, with Dan Holmes, NeuroDiverse Couples’ Coaches In nearly every marriage-coaching case we work with, there comes a moment—especially when coaching autistic adult men—when the spouse asks in frustration: “How can we do progress-based coaching if my husband doesn’t remember the events the way I do?” Or the autistic husband genuinely insists: “That’s not how it happened. I don’t remember it like that.” And both feel stuck, invalidate

Author: Dr. Stephanie Holmes, Certified Autism Specialist A Letter to the Neurotypical Wife Who Just Wants Her Husband to Do His Own Work: The difference between individual work and siloed work A Series On “Acceptance” of Neurodiversity and What NeuroDiverse Marriage Means I love it that so many wives who come to work with me or one of the coaches in the International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages referral network are getting stronger, finding their voice, s

Author: Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Certified Autism Specialist Reader/Listener’s Question: Is it an NT/ND thing or a male/female thing? All the men in my church's men’s group have the same struggle joining the emotional bandwagon, and they aren’t all ND. So how do you distinguish the difference between typical male/female thinking and NT/ND thinking?” Common Refrain: Stephanie, when I tell my [counselor, pastor, friend, group, pastor’s wife…] about my marriage, I feel like I am

By Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS "Resentment (bitterness) is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Saint Augustine of Hippo (Note: For this blog, I’ll be referring to the NT partner as “her” or “wife” and to the ND partner as “he” or “husband.” No exclusions or offense intended!) It’s not uncommon that bitterness evolves in neurodiverse marriages. Because of the “double empathy” problem (where both partners fail to understand each other’s perspectiv

Part 2 of 2  by Jeremy Rochford  TI-CLC, C-MHC, C-YMHC How to Heal from RSD — Self-Advocating with Awareness It’s important to note. Healing doesn’t mean you never feel rejection. It means you stop letting your triggers get the best of you and take an active role in reducing your impulsive reactions. Here’s where I’ve found the most success, not only in my life, but in helping others. 1. Be Honest and Name It. When that emotional wave hits, recognize it and say, “My brain is

Part 1 of 2  by Jeremy Rochford TI-CLC, C-MHC, C-YMHC What do we want? A BLOG ABOUT REJECTION SENSITIVITY DYSPHORIA!!!! When do we want it? NOW!!!!!!! When will we get it? See, that’s the problem. I’m not quite sure. On one hand, if I write a blog and you don’t like it, then it proves my writing has been a waste of time. But if I do write it, and you happen to enjoy it, then that means everything else I write must be as agreeable. But, on the other hand, if I don’t write the

Exciting Changes Coming January 2026 Plus, We’re on Patreon! Dan & Stephanie  As we step into 2026, we’re thrilled to share that some exciting updates  are coming to the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples Podcast! Our heart’s desire  has always been to keep the podcast free and accessible . Many of our listeners, especially those serving overseas in the military or in missions and ministry, rely on these conversations as a vital resource. And because of your encouragement and req

By Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS Receiving an adult autism diagnosis—whether for yourself or your spouse—can be a life-altering experience. While it may bring clarity and relief, it can also stir deep and complex emotions as you process what it means for your life and marriage. For many, the diagnosis explains years of struggle, miscommunication, or emotional disconnection. It can feel like finally finding the missing puzzle piece that makes sense of everything. Yet, as the

Ginny Smith Part 2 As we changed course the beginning of 2024 to learn this entire new language, this would end up being the longest stretch of incredibly rough waters that would leave us feeling depleted. Tommy’s stress rose to an all time high that would ultimately take him out of the game of life for 3 months and later into the hospital.  In my learning and finding answers things were making sense, however my frustration grew because yet again Tommy was no longer rowing. 

An interview with Pastor Josh Davis based on an upcoming podcast on Just the Guys   By Dan Holmes When we launched this “Just the Guys”...

Part 1 of 2 Guest Authors: Ginny & Tommy Note: Listen up for when Ginny & Tommy will be guests on NeuroDiverse Christian Couples Podcast...

Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS   Marriage is sacred, but for neurodiverse couples, it can also be sanctifying in uniquely difficult ways. Many Christian husbands on the autism or ADHD spectrum deeply love their wives but wrestle with confusion, shame, and exhaustion in trying to meet relational expectations that don’t come naturally. Their hearts are willing—but their neurology can make ordinary connection feel like climbing a mountain.  Here’s what many of these husbands lon

Marriage is a journey filled with joys, challenges, and opportunities for growth. For couples where one partner is autistic – and there...

Based on the transcript from an upcoming ND Couples- Coaches’ Corner with Dr. Stephanie, Barbara Grant, and guest, Dr. Mona Kay. The...

Guest Blogger: Matthew Townend About our Blogger: Matt Townend works for SALT , a Christian dating app that seeks to connect Christians from all walks of life. He met his wife on SALT in 2019 and now has a 1-year-old son and another boy on the way. He lives in Leeds, UK. It wasn’t too long ago that I couldn’t sit through meetings without zoning out. I’d reread the same line in a book five times and still not absorb it. I’d plan my day the night before, only to forget the plan

Author:  Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS, with the input of many neurotypical wives) Dear Faith Leaders and Marriage Helpers, We write to...

(Editor's note: This should have been the Oct 23rd blog- sorry for the confusion) Author: Mary Gable (pseudonym) A new season is upon us. Cooler weather. Breathable air. Sunny skies. After a long three months, I feel hope. But mixed with that hope, confusion remains. I see three ways forward and I’m not sure which one will prevail. Option #1: Stay I can stay in my marriage, accepting God is not surprised, dismayed, or unaware of my discomfort. In choosing this path, I submit

Guarding Against Bitterness: The Boundary of Detachment Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS   "Resentment (bitterness) is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Saint Augustine of Hippo   (Note: For the purposes of this blog, I’ll be referring to the NT partner as “her” or “wife” and to the ND partner as “he” or “husband.” No exclusions or offense intended!) It’s not uncommon that bitterness evolves in neurodiverse marriages. Because of the “double empathy”

By: Nicole Mar When we marry, we have expectations of what marriage will be. I pictured a happy family full of togetherness and...

Yet Wives, You Are Seen and Loved by God Author: Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes You may have read heartbreaking stories of neurotypical (NT)...