One of the advantages of having multiple podcasts is that every now and then, we get to work smarter, not harder. If you are not already familiar with Holmes' Cinema Clues, October is your opportunity to discover what we've been building over there. Except for Coaches’ Corner, this month's episodes on the Neurodiverse Christian Couples Podcast will feature some of our favorite conversations and investigations from Holmes' Cinema Clues. For those new to the show, Holmes' Cinem

By Jenilee Rachel (Resposted with Permission) I just poured another cup of coffee. I needed something warm to put my hands on as I prayerfully process and write this post. You might need some coffee because I have a feeling this is a long one. These words have been weighing on my mind for a few weeks now. I’ve had my notes, slowly adding words and thoughts while also feeling the pressure to put this topic into words that bring awareness with compassion and grace. How do you w

By Rev. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes There are a few passages in Scripture that generate as much confusion, guilt, and anxiety in Christian marriages as 1 Corinthians 7. For generations, many Christians have heard some version of the same message: your spouse has a right to your body, and withholding sexual intimacy is sinful. In some circles, this teaching has been presented so strongly that individuals have felt obligated to engage in sexual activity regardless of their emotiona

BY BARBARA GRANT, MMFT, NDCC, CAS For many years, conversations about neurodiverse relationships have focused on the ways autism can affect communication, emotional reciprocity, empathy, and relationship dynamics. These discussions are important because understanding neurological differences can help couples make sense of painful patterns that might otherwise be misunderstood. However, there is another topic that deserves greater attention: the possibility that some indivi

By Mary Gable (pseudonym), NT Wife I began to feel a seasonal shift about six weeks ago. Several things transpired that both broke me down and built me up anew. But it wasn’t until last week that the quiet whispers of change became obvious. It probably helps that our fifth marriage counselor recently chose to voice agreement with other therapists who have noted my spouse is on the spectrum. Verified once again, a deeper calm filled me. But as my spouse and I discussed the new

Combined Thoughts of Stephanie & Dan by Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes Over the past few months, we have both been writing about construction in different ways. Dan sees the world through systems, engineering, foundations, load paths, and structural integrity. I, Stephanie, see the world through people, identity, attachment, formation, and relationships. The funny thing is that the longer we have been married, the more we realize we are often talking about the same thing using diffe

This past month on our Weaponized Scripture series on the podcast, we have explored difficult but important conversations about abuse, spiritual authority, forgiveness, divorce, and how Scripture is sometimes used in ways that wound rather than heal. One of those conversations was with Thomas Pryde of the Psalm 82 Initiative. In our interview, we first asked Thomas to talk about the passage of Psalm 82. Psalm 82 is not one of the passages most Christians quote regularly. Yet

By Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS Intimacy problems in neurodiverse relationships rarely begin in the bedroom. More often, they begin in the nervous system. Neurodiverse couples frequently seek help because they feel emotionally disconnected, stuck in repetitive conflict, misunderstood, or unable to experience safe and satisfying physical intimacy. In neurodiverse relationships, especially, these struggles can feel confusing and painful because both partners may deeply lov

Stephanie C. Holmes Parker Palmer wrote, "Summer's keynote is abundance. Forests fill with undergrowth, trees with fruits, meadows with wildflowers and grasses, fields with wheat and corn, gardens with zucchini, and the yard with weeds. Summer teaches me that when I embrace only scarcity, I create the very scarcity I fear. And summer teaches me that abundance is a communal act of an incredibly complex ecology. Each part functions on behalf of the whole, and in return is susta

This review is a little different. Usually, I review a single book. This time, I want to highlight an entire body of work. When we first met Bruce and became familiar with his and Dr. Joy’s work, Dan and I were astounded at all that we did not know, were mistaught, but also how translations can be so different in the teachings on men, women, and marriage. Meeting Bruce inspired Dan to take biblical Hebrew, and soon he will be starting biblical Greek. So Bruce’s work greatly i

BY BARBARA GRANT, MMFT, NDCC, CAS Intimacy—both emotional and physical—is often described as the heartbeat of a healthy marriage. Yet for many neurodiverse couples, intimacy can feel confusing, inconsistent, or just out of reach. Partners may deeply love each other and genuinely want connection, but still find themselves missing one another in the moments that matter most. Over time, this gap can feel discouraging, even disorienting: Why does something that should feel natura

There are books I recommend because they are helpful. There are books I recommend because they are well-researched. And then there are books I recommend because I genuinely believe they have the potential to change lives. Life-Saving Divorce by Gretchen Baskerville covers all of these categories. Whenever I talk about abuse and divorce, I get accused of not being pro-marriage or being too pro-divorce. But that is not true. As I have said many times, I am so pro-marriage and s

There are some books you read, underline, and place on a shelf. Then some books force you to stop, reflect, and reconsider assumptions you have carried for years. For me, To Harm or Heal? How Religion Can Help or Hurt Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Dr. Steven Tracy falls into the second category. He is also the author, with his wife Celeste Tracy, of Mending the Soul. Recently, Dan and I had the privilege of interviewing Dr. Tracy as part of our Weaponizing Scripture podcast se

By Rev. Dan Holmes, MS There are truths a man can miss for years not because they were hidden, but because they were quiet. Some burdens announce themselves dramatically. A paycheck arrives or does not. A roof leaks. A car fails. A job is lost. Illness enters with scans, prescriptions, and appointments. These are visible pressures, easy to name, easy to point at, easy to call important. Other burdens are less theatrical and therefore easier to undervalue. Who is keeping peace

BY BARBARA GRANT LETTING go isn't a single act—it's a process. One of the most vital steps in this process is grief. But grief is more than sorrow over loss. It’s a deep neurological and emotional experience that can be amplified or even distorted by trauma. Many people who feel stuck in patterns of emotional pain are actually struggling with unprocessed grief and trauma that the brain has hardwired in an effort to survive. This article explores how grief and trauma inte

By Rev. Dan Holmes, MS There was a season of my life when I believed truth would arrive in a form I respected. It would be calm, orderly, rational, properly timed, and delivered with sufficient emotional restraint to prove it deserved consideration. It would come packaged in the language of analysis, not urgency. It would appeal to logic before feeling, sequence before atmosphere, metrics before mood. If it arrived otherwise, I was inclined to distrust not only the delivery,

By Rev. Dan Holmes, Master Life Coach; NeuroDiverse Marriage Coach I was loading tempered glass shelves into the back of a truck for a drive from Atlanta to Charlotte. Nothing spiritual about it. Just one of those ordinary, slightly stressful tasks where you know that if you get it wrong, you’ll hear a very distinct sound somewhere on I-85. My first instinct was immediate and obvious: Stand the glass on its edge. That’s how professionals transport glass. I’ve seen the trucks.

Dr. Stephanie’s Newest Book! Available June 2, 2026! For Parents, Educators, Administrators, and Educational Professionals! Empowering Autistic Voices in Education is a groundbreaking, research-informed, and deeply human guide to dismantling systemic barriers and fostering authentic inclusion for autistic students, particularly those pushed to the margins. Unique in its approach, this book amplifies the lived experiences of neurodivergent individuals alongside insights from p

By Carol Reller, Retired SLP (Written for Holmes’ Cinema Clues) This is a great question. The simple answer: yes and no. Let’s explore that question. People interact with media for a variety of reasons. Oftentimes, people just want to be entertained. Sometimes people watch shows or listen to podcasts with the intent to learn something. Children will watch shows or play games for entertainment, and as an aside, may learn a few things along the way, although it may not be what

(Written by Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS, with the input of many neurotypical wives) Dear Faith Leaders and Marriage Helpers, We write to you with respect and gratitude for your heart to help struggling couples. Yet many Christian women in neurodiverse marriages —where one partner is autistic or has ADHD— have suffered further harm under well-intentioned but uninformed guidance. Our hope is that this letter opens eyes, hearts, and conversations toward more compassionate