By Rev. Dan Holmes, MS There are truths a man can miss for years not because they were hidden, but because they were quiet. Some burdens announce themselves dramatically. A paycheck arrives or does not. A roof leaks. A car fails. A job is lost. Illness enters with scans, prescriptions, and appointments. These are visible pressures, easy to name, easy to point at, easy to call important. Other burdens are less theatrical and therefore easier to undervalue. Who is keeping peace

BY BARBARA GRANT LETTING go isn't a single act—it's a process. One of the most vital steps in this process is grief. But grief is more than sorrow over loss. It’s a deep neurological and emotional experience that can be amplified or even distorted by trauma. Many people who feel stuck in patterns of emotional pain are actually struggling with unprocessed grief and trauma that the brain has hardwired in an effort to survive. This article explores how grief and trauma inte

By Rev. Dan Holmes, MS There was a season of my life when I believed truth would arrive in a form I respected. It would be calm, orderly, rational, properly timed, and delivered with sufficient emotional restraint to prove it deserved consideration. It would come packaged in the language of analysis, not urgency. It would appeal to logic before feeling, sequence before atmosphere, metrics before mood. If it arrived otherwise, I was inclined to distrust not only the delivery,

By Rev. Dan Holmes, Master Life Coach; NeuroDiverse Marriage Coach I was loading tempered glass shelves into the back of a truck for a drive from Atlanta to Charlotte. Nothing spiritual about it. Just one of those ordinary, slightly stressful tasks where you know that if you get it wrong, you’ll hear a very distinct sound somewhere on I-85. My first instinct was immediate and obvious: Stand the glass on its edge. That’s how professionals transport glass. I’ve seen the trucks.

Dr. Stephanie’s Newest Book! Available June 2, 2026! For Parents, Educators, Administrators, and Educational Professionals! Empowering Autistic Voices in Education is a groundbreaking, research-informed, and deeply human guide to dismantling systemic barriers and fostering authentic inclusion for autistic students, particularly those pushed to the margins. Unique in its approach, this book amplifies the lived experiences of neurodivergent individuals alongside insights from p

By Carol Reller, Retired SLP (Written for Holmes’ Cinema Clues) This is a great question. The simple answer: yes and no. Let’s explore that question. People interact with media for a variety of reasons. Oftentimes, people just want to be entertained. Sometimes people watch shows or listen to podcasts with the intent to learn something. Children will watch shows or play games for entertainment, and as an aside, may learn a few things along the way, although it may not be what

(Written by Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS, with the input of many neurotypical wives) Dear Faith Leaders and Marriage Helpers, We write to you with respect and gratitude for your heart to help struggling couples. Yet many Christian women in neurodiverse marriages —where one partner is autistic or has ADHD— have suffered further harm under well-intentioned but uninformed guidance. Our hope is that this letter opens eyes, hearts, and conversations toward more compassionate

By Mary Gable (pen name), an NT Wife Part 1 While chatting with a friend several years ago, she referenced the word schemata. While I’d heard it before, I walked away with valuable insight after years of marital confusion. Miriam Webster defines schemata as: a mental codification of experience that includes a particular organized way of perceiving cognitively and responding to a complex situation or set of stimuli. Between my spouse’s memory lapses and his hulk like defense m

A New Conversation & a New Show! Holmes’ Cinema Clues! By Cinema Agent Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes Like many ideas in our family, Holmes’ Cinema Clues didn’t begin as a formal plan. It grew out of ordinary conversations that Dan and I have had for years about movies, characters, and the way certain stories linger with us long after the credits roll. Every once in a while, a scene or a character will capture something so familiar that it feels like the writers somehow stumbled ont

Launching May 1, 2026 at 8 pm ET on YouTube! What is it? Each episode treats media like a case file. With neurodivergent guests, clinicians, and behavioral experts, the show investigates representation: what works, what falls into stereotype, and why certain portrayals resonate so strongly with viewers. The goal isn’t necessarily a diagnosis — it’s insight. A smarter way to watch stories and understand how media shapes identity, belonging, and perception. Sharp, accessible, a

By Barbara Grant, MMFT, Certified Autism Specialist The Bible describes the gift of discernment as the ability to distinguish between spirits (1 Corinthians 12:10). Yet the topic is often misunderstood. Some people assume discernment means confidently knowing who is right and who is wrong in every situation. But biblical discernment is humbler and more thoughtful than that. True discernment involves carefully distinguishing between truth and error, good and evil, while remain

By Jeremy Rochford TI-CLC, MHC, YMHC, BCS Have you ever sat back and asked yourself, “Why can’t my Neurodiverse partner just do the thing I keep asking them to do?” I mean, you’ve given them all the tools, resources, and time needed, but they’re still not following through?!?! Many days it feels like you’re stuck in the movie Groundhog Day, where the next day comes, but the results never change. And, to make it worse, there’s never a Bill Murray cameo. It’s the literal defin

By Ginny & Tommy, NeuroDiverseChristian Couple Life circumstances whether it be good or bad, can change a person’s heart. I came into my marriage with a heart that was soft, full of love, care and devotion. Two decades of friction from pain, betrayal, misunderstandings, lack of communication and lack of having a partner caused my heart to develop calluses that were running deep. I knew that I didn’t want those calluses to get any bigger. I grew up knowing there was a God an

By Greg Reller This blog is a companion to one written by my wife Carol. We thought it might help other ND marriages to see both of our views of the types of changes we have attempted to improve our marriage relationship. I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 (ASD1 or Aspergers Syndrome) about 10 years ago and about 25 years after we were married. Like many in similar relationships (Uniquely Us-Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Chapt

By Barbara Grant, MMFT, CAS, NDCC Many neurodiverse couples seeking marriage help share a commitment to improving their relationship. In these cases, couples coaching can help partners address problems, strengthen their connection, and work together toward acceptance and change. Models like the Hope for Couples Roadmap to Hope and Healing© can be very effective over the 6-12 months of time a couple invests. But sometimes partners begin coaching in very different places. One

By Carol Reller Ten years ago, I realized my husband Greg had Autism Level 1 (then Asperger’s). Some of the details are in this past blog. https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/post/what-i-didn-t-know-hurt-me . So, I wanted to share what has changed and what hasn’t in those ten years. My husband is still autistic. Yes, that doesn’t change. It doesn’t get fixed, or go away with meds or therapy. Therefore, he still has the traits that go along with being autistic.

By NeuroDiverse Couple Ginny & Tommy Smith I would imagine most wives go into a marriage having grown up with the dream that the husband is to be trustworthy, a good communicator, a provider, taking initiative, being accountable and is responsible for the family's spiritual, financial, and overall well-being. At the same time there being shared decision -making and the wife looking to him for support, comfort and protection. And when this doesn’t happen what do you do? We

Author: Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Certified Autism Specialist A Story About Missing Context: How ND Literal Reporting Can Derail Coaching When Mark met Lily, he was enchanted by her independence and drive. She was a graphic designer who traveled often for work and loved spending weekends hiking or painting. In their early dating conversations, Lily said, “I’m not domestic at all. I’m never home, I don’t organize, I don’t decorate, and I don’t fold laundry. If you’re looking fo

BARBARA GRANT, MMFT, CAS, NDCC JANUARY 15, 2026 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) “You need to feel in order to heal … and feeling safe is a sensory experience .” Jesus’ words in the Beatitudes are often quoted, but rarely practiced. We affirm the promise of comfort, yet subtly resist the path that leads there: mourning. In many Christian spaces, grief is tolerated only under very specific conditions—most often when someone dies. De

Why Siloed 1:1 Work- Doesn’t Work! Author: Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Certified Autism Specialist I hope that in this series, I have laid the foundation for the position that 1:1 work cannot be done in a silo without context. If you have not been following the series, number 2 in the series on autobiographical memory/narrative would be a helpful read first. Truth vs. Accuracy: Autobiographical Memory Recall in Coaching One couple I worked with, let’s call them Bob (autistic hus