By Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Autism Specialist, with Dan Holmes, NeuroDiverse Couples’ Coaches In nearly every marriage-coaching case we work with, there comes a moment—especially when coaching autistic adult men—when the spouse asks in frustration: “How can we do progress-based coaching if my husband doesn’t remember the events the way I do?” Or the autistic husband genuinely insists: “That’s not how it happened. I don’t remember it like that.” And both feel stuck, invalidate

Author: Dr. Stephanie Holmes, Certified Autism Specialist A Letter to the Neurotypical Wife Who Just Wants Her Husband to Do His Own Work: The difference between individual work and siloed work A Series On “Acceptance” of Neurodiversity and What NeuroDiverse Marriage Means I love it that so many wives who come to work with me or one of the coaches in the International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriages referral network are getting stronger, finding their voice, s

Author: Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Certified Autism Specialist Reader/Listener’s Question: Is it an NT/ND thing or a male/female thing? All the men in my church's men’s group have the same struggle joining the emotional bandwagon, and they aren’t all ND. So how do you distinguish the difference between typical male/female thinking and NT/ND thinking?” Common Refrain: Stephanie, when I tell my [counselor, pastor, friend, group, pastor’s wife…] about my marriage, I feel like I am

By Barbara Grant, MMFT, NDCC, CAS "Resentment (bitterness) is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Saint Augustine of Hippo (Note: For this blog, I’ll be referring to the NT partner as “her” or “wife” and to the ND partner as “he” or “husband.” No exclusions or offense intended!) It’s not uncommon that bitterness evolves in neurodiverse marriages. Because of the “double empathy” problem (where both partners fail to understand each other’s perspectiv