Today, I want to delve into a topic that is near and dear to our hearts: relationships. People ask all the time, how good or fulfilling can a NeuroDiverse Christian relationship really be? Whether you're a man or a woman, we all desire to build stronger, more meaningful connections with the people in our lives. In "Relational Skills in the Bible" by Coursey, we find a wealth of wisdom that can help us achieve just that. So, let's explore these 19 essential relational skills inspired by the Bible that are beneficial to all.
Coursey puts materials by Dr. Wilder into practical skills and understanding. These 19 skills taught in the Bible can be improved upon in our ND Christian relationships! We are called to continue to grow emotionally and spiritually throughout our life!
In 2024 in addition to Thanks for the Feedback, we will be using the workbook by Coursey to build relational skills from a biblical perspective.
Communication: Effective communication is a cornerstone of any thriving relationship. Listening attentively and speaking kindly can foster understanding and closeness. This is usually the number one complaint in ND couples! Learning to give and receive feedback and solve relational problems is key to a healthy relationship!
Forgiveness: The Bible teaches us to forgive as we've been forgiven. Letting go of grudges and offering forgiveness can heal wounds and restore relationships. However, we as humans cannot forgive and forget. When there is pain and trauma and abuse these have to be dealt with! If there is abuse or trauma, this has to be dealt with not brushed under the rug cloaked in forgiveness.
Empathy: Empathizing with others, sharing in their joys, and offering support during their sorrows deepens our connections and shows love in action. While some neurotypes have higher empathy than others, this skill can be improved by anyone!
Selflessness: Putting the needs of others before our own and approaching relationships with humility allows us to nurture selfless, enduring bonds. While this can be a struggle with self-referencing, it is not impossible. We are called to die to the flesh and make sacrifices versus only one person getting what they need in the relationship.
Boundaries: Healthy boundaries protect our emotional well-being and maintain balance in our relationships, ensuring they remain mutually fulfilling. Many ND relationships have unhealthy expectations, overfunctioning and lack boundaries.
Patience: Love is patient, and practicing patience helps us extend grace and understanding to others, especially in challenging times. No one gets a pass on building patience!
Kindness: Acts of kindness, both big and small, strengthen our relationships and demonstrate our love and care for one another. When relationships are under stress and turmoil, often kindness is lacking.
Generosity: Giving selflessly, whether it's our time, resources, or support, fosters generosity that enriches our relationships. Many will say their spouse is generous to others but generosity should start in the home!
Respect: Treating others with respect, acknowledging their worth, and valuing their feelings and opinions is the foundation of healthy connections. Many books speak about men needing respect, but both parties need to be respected and heard.
Honesty: Open and honest communication builds trust and authenticity in relationships, allowing us to speak the truth in love. Honesty is key to trust and safety and omitting information or fear responses or concealing information to avoid conflict is lack of honesty and will break down trust.
Humility: Humility helps us admit when we're wrong, ask for forgiveness, and avoid the pitfalls of pride that can harm our relationships. Another huge issue in ND couples is personal responsibility and a lot of blame and blame shifting.
Conflict Resolution: Learning to resolve conflicts constructively helps us maintain peace and harmony within our relationships. In most relationships there is one party that will avoid conflict or think they are a peacemaker by never bringing up issues, but this is not healthy or open communication. Healthy couples do not fear conflict or avoid it.
Gratitude: Cultivating an attitude of gratitude and expressing appreciation for others strengthens the bonds of friendship and love. Showing gratitude and appreciation is key to joy and hesed building in relationships.
Loyalty: Remaining faithful and loyal to our loved ones, even in challenging times, deepens the trust and connection within our relationships.
Gentleness: A gentle spirit can defuse tension and show others that we genuinely care about their feelings, nurturing love and understanding. Gottman would say when you need to bring something up, a gentle start up is best relationally. Scripture says a gentle or soft answer can deter wrath.
Courage: Courage empowers us to confront difficult issues, stand up for what's right, and protect our loved ones when necessary.
Understanding: Striving to understand the perspectives and experiences of others bridges gaps and builds empathy, leading to richer connections. ND couples can have double empathy issues. Seeking to understand the needs and neurotype of others is important.
Contentment: Finding contentment in our own lives allows us to bring positivity and satisfaction into our relationships, enhancing them. Perhaps some expectations need to shift based on the knowledge of being a ND couple.
Faithfulness: Staying true to our commitments, promises, and responsibilities in relationships builds trust and reliability. Faithfulness and dependability are keys to build honesty and safety; they go along together!
These 19 relational skills, inspired by the timeless wisdom found in the Bible, offer valuable guidance for both men and women seeking to cultivate healthier, more loving, and more fulfilling connections in their lives. As we embark on this journey of self-improvement and relationship-building, may these principles help us create stronger bonds and bring more joy and harmony into our lives and the lives of those we cherish.
Do you need to first get out of enemy mode? Check out our self-study under Group Coaching and take the course as a self-study or with a coach!
There still may be room on our course for 2024 that will use this book! The men will meet with Rev. Dan and the women with Dr. Stephanie doing the same course materials!
If you miss out on the course, we will be offering a self-study!