Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, based on the books Renovated and Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You by Dr. Wilder
A key theme in Renovated is the idea that growth often requires healing from past wounds. Just as a home renovation may involve repairing damage or replacing faulty foundations, personal growth often involves addressing emotional or spiritual wounds that hinder our maturity and identity formation. Adding to Wilder’s work Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You takes you deeper into steps of healing from past wounds and trauma. Both spouses in the neurodiverse marriage may have trauma or abuse from their family or origin and/or from the marriage. Growing a stronger neurodiverse marriage can be dependent on both parties healing from past and current wounds.
Dealing with Emotional Pain: Renovated
Wilder acknowledges that many people struggle to grow in maturity because they are carrying emotional pain from current/ past relationships or traumas. These wounds can prevent us from fully embracing our identity in Christ or from developing healthy, mature relationships. Wilder suggests that healing begins when we are willing to confront these wounds with honesty and openness. I have seen in coaching/counseling many times as Christians we can place our identity in the marriage versus in Christ.
The healing process is the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, transforming us into the image of Christ. Wilder encourages readers to invite God into the renovation process, allowing Him to heal old wounds and replace them with His love and truth.
The Importance of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is another crucial element of the renovation process. Wilder points out that unforgiveness can stunt your growth, keeping us trapped in bitterness or resentment. Forgiving others frees us to move forward in maturity. It allows us to let go of the past and embrace the new identity that God is forming in us. Forgiveness is a separate process from reconciliation. Forgiveness does not mean ignoring or excusing wrongs, but it does mean releasing the power that those wrongs hold over us. In the context of Christian faith, forgiveness is a reflection of God's grace toward us, and it enables us to extend that same grace to others.
Recovery from a Broken Heart: A Journey with Jesus
Heartbreak is one of the most universally shared human experiences. Whether it’s from a relationship, a deep loss, or a significant life disappointment, a broken heart can leave us feeling shattered and hopeless. The pain is real and often so deep that it feels as if the pieces of our soul may never come back together. But in these moments of despair, there is hope, and that hope is found in Jesus.
In the book Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You by Dr. Jim Wilder, the authors provide a powerful guide to healing emotional wounds, drawing on biblical truths and neuroscience. The concept of living from the heart Jesus gave us centers around the idea that true emotional health and recovery are possible when we invite Jesus to do the healing work from the inside out.
Before diving into the recovery process, it’s important to understand what it means to live from the heart Jesus gave you. Wilder and his co-authors describe the heart as more than just the seat of our emotions; it is the center of our identity and connection with God. The heart Jesus gave us is designed to experience deep joy, love, peace, and wholeness. Yet, when heartbreak enters, our hearts become fragmented, and we lose touch with this original design.
In moments of deep pain, our natural reaction is often to shut down, isolate ourselves, or harden our hearts to protect ourselves from future hurt. However, this is not how Jesus wants us to live. He calls us to open our hearts, even in pain, to experience His love, healing, and restoration.
The Journey Begins: Acknowledging the Pain
The first step in recovery from a broken heart is acknowledging the pain. It’s tempting to gloss over or minimize the hurt, but Jesus invites us to bring our raw emotions before Him. In Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You, the authors emphasize that Jesus is not afraid of our pain, nor is He distant from it. Instead, He is deeply compassionate and intimately involved in our suffering.
Psalm 34:18 tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” This verse reminds us that God is not far from us when we are hurting. He draws near, and He is ready to help us heal. Acknowledging the depth of our heartbreak is not a sign of weakness; it’s a vital part of the healing process. Jesus Himself wept at the loss of His friend Lazarus (John 11:35), showing us that sorrow is a natural, human response to loss.He wept at the loss even though He knew He would raise Him from the dead.
The Power of Joy in Healing
One of the most unique aspects of Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You is the concept of joy as a powerful force in emotional recovery. While joy may seem like a distant emotion when your heart is broken, Wilder’s work reminds us that joy is not merely happiness:it is the sense of being in the presence of someone who is glad to be with us, even in pain.
Joy in recovery comes from knowing that Jesus is always glad to be with us, no matter what we are going through. This concept is rooted in our relationship with God, where we find that His love for us is not contingent upon our emotional state or circumstances. Jesus wants to be with us in our pain, and His presence brings comfort and restoration.
By focusing on our relationship with Jesus and experiencing His joy, we can begin to heal. It may not erase the pain instantly, but the steady awareness of His loving presence allows our hearts to open again. This joy is what makes recovery possible. It gives us the strength to face each new day, knowing that we are not alone.
Healing in Community
Another key theme in Wilder’s books is the importance of community in the healing process. When we are heartbroken, the instinct to isolate can be strong, but it is in community that we find the support we need to recover. Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You highlights that God designed us to live in relationships, and this design is integral to emotional healing.
Community is where we learn to share our burdens with others and allow them to support us. It’s where we experience the hands and feet of Jesus in practical ways—whether through a listening ear, a comforting word, or simply someone sitting with us in our pain. While community cannot take away the heartache, it reminds us that we are not alone in our suffering.
Galatians 6:2 encourages us to “carry each other’s burdens,” and in doing so, we fulfill the law of Christ. Community helps to carry us when we feel we can’t move forward, providing strength and hope when we have none. It is through these connections that we begin to piece our hearts back together.
Allowing Jesus to Rebuild Your Heart
While community is essential, the ultimate healing of a broken heart comes from allowing Jesus to do the deep work within us. In Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You, the authors explain that Jesus is the one who rebuilds our hearts, making them stronger, more whole, and more aligned with His heart.
This rebuilding process involves letting go of the need to control the situation or force ourselves to heal on our own. Instead, we surrender our brokenness to Jesus and trust Him to do the work. This can be difficult, especially if we’ve been hurt deeply, but Jesus is gentle with our hearts. He works at our pace, never rushing us but always guiding us toward wholeness.
Isaiah 61:1 declares that Jesus came “to bind up the brokenhearted.” This is His mission, and He is faithful to complete it. As we allow Him to minister to us, we begin to see healing unfold in ways we never imagined. The pieces of our shattered hearts are not just put back together—they are transformed into something stronger and more beautiful.
Moving Forward in New Strength
As we walk through the process of recovery with Jesus, we eventually come to a place of new strength. While the pain may not disappear entirely, it no longer defines us. Instead, we are defined by the love and joy of Jesus that has sustained us through the heartache.
In Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You, the authors encourage us to move forward, not with a hardened heart, but with a heart that is more open to love, compassion, and connection than before. This is the beauty of recovery in Christ: it doesn’t just restore us to where we were; it makes us new.
The journey of healing from a broken heart is not quick or easy, but it is possible. With Jesus as our guide, we can find the hope, joy, and community that we need to recover. As we lean on Him, we discover that our hearts, though once broken, can be made whole again—living from the heart Jesus gave us, a heart full of life, love, and resilience.
Healing happens in community! Check out Group Coaching and scroll down :
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Renovated: You Can Get it Here
Living from the Heart:
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