Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes
Renovating a home involves tearing down walls, exposing hidden foundations, and rebuilding to create something stronger and more beautiful. In Renovated by, Dr. Jim Wilder likens personal growth and spiritual transformation to this process of renovation. Wilder explores how true maturity and identity formation stem from character growth, particularly through relationships rooted in love, truth, and grace.
Key themes of Renovated, discusses how character maturity and identity formation are central to our spiritual journeys. Through our autism research and discussed further in Uniquely US, research shows that the autistic brain shows an underdevelopment of the orbital prefrontal cortex (OFC); and research shows that trauma can stunt or arrest development of the OFC. Why is this important? Because identity, character and maturity are located in the OFC!
These two aspects are interconnected, shaping not only how we see ourselves but also how we interact with others and, most importantly, how we relate to God. Dr. Wilder's insights help us understand that renovation is an ongoing process, and by embracing it, we can live lives of integrity and wholeness.
Understanding Character Maturity: A Journey, Not a Destination
Dr. Wilder defines character maturity not as a state of perfection, but as a continuous journey of growth. Maturity is often confused with mere age or experience, but Wilder argues that true maturity comes from a deeper place—our ability to love others, maintain healthy relationships, and live in alignment with our God-given identity.
Dr. Wilder’s work shows us that we become who and how we love others!
Stages of Character Maturity
Wilder outlines several stages of character maturity, which correspond to different phases of life and development. Each stage involves specific relational tasks and challenges that help form our character. These stages are:
1.Infant Stage: In this earliest stage, the focus is on receiving care and learning trust. A person at the infant stage of character maturity seeks comfort and protection, developing a sense of security based on being loved and cared for.
2.Child Stage: As a person grows, the next stage is learning to express needs, explore independence, and interact with the world in new ways. A person in this stage focuses on their own needs and desires, seeking to have them met in appropriate ways. The development of trust and the ability to ask for help is crucial here.
3.Adult Stage: In adulthood, the focus shifts toward responsibility. A mature adult is able to care for others, not just themselves, and begins to make sacrifices for the benefit of others. Character formation at this stage involves learning to give without expecting anything in return. Loving someone well may involve sacrifice at times!
4. Parent Stage: At the parent stage, character maturity involves nurturing others' growth. Just as parents care for their children, mature individuals at this stage invest in the development of others, offering guidance and support.
5. Elder Stage: The highest level of character maturity is found in elders, who have learned to lead and guide others with wisdom and grace. Elders are those who can hold space for others to grow, offering counsel and wisdom based on their own life experiences.
Wilder emphasizes that true maturity involves moving through these stages and continuing to grow in each one. While life circumstances and relationships may challenge us, character maturity is about learning how to navigate these challenges with grace, compassion, and a sense of responsibility.
Identity Formation: Discovering Who We Are in Christ
Identity formation is another central theme in Renovated. Wilder argues that our identity is not something we create for ourselves but something we discover through our relationships, especially our relationship with God. He points out that identity is not static; it evolves as we grow in maturity and understanding of who we are in Christ.
Identity and Relationships
Dr. Wilder stresses the importance of relationships in shaping our identity. From infancy, we are influenced by our families, communities, and social environments. These relationships teach us who we are and how we should interact with the world. Positive, loving relationships help form a secure sense of identity, while dysfunctional or unhealthy relationships can distort our understanding of ourselves.
In the Christian context, our identity is rooted in being children of God. Wilder explains that true identity is discovered when we learn to see ourselves as God sees us—beloved, valuable, and created with a unique purpose. This understanding of identity is not something we earn or achieve but something we receive by grace. As we grow in character maturity, we also deepen our understanding of our identity in Christ. This process involves shedding false identities that are based on fear, shame, or societal expectations and embracing the truth of who God says we are.
The Role of Joy in Maturity and Identity Formation
One of the most fascinating aspects of Dr. Wilder’s work is his focus on joy as a key element in both character maturity and identity formation. Wilder defines joy not merely as happiness or pleasure but as the deep, relational experience of being glad to be together with others. Joy is the fuel that propels us forward in our growth journey.
Wilder points out that joy is essential for building strong, healthy relationships. Joy enables us to endure hardships, forgive others, and remain connected even when relationships are challenging. A person who is rooted in joy is more resilient in the face of adversity because they are sustained by the knowledge that they are loved and valued by others.
In the process of character formation, joy helps us stay grounded in our identity. When we experience joy in our relationships—with God and others—we are more likely to grow in maturity. We learn that even when we face trials or make mistakes, we are still loved and accepted.
A key takeaway from Renovated is the idea that joy is contagious. When we cultivate joy in our own lives, we contribute to the joy of those around us. Wilder encourages readers to build joyful communities where people can experience the joy of being loved and accepted for who they are. These communities provide the fertile ground for both character growth and identity formation.
For Christian communities, this means creating environments where people feel safe to grow, ask questions, and make mistakes. It means fostering relationships based on grace and truth, where each person is seen as valuable and worthy of love. In such communities, joy flourishes, and maturity and identity are nurtured.
For more:
Read Uniquely Us on how neuroplasticity and changing brain wiring to become more relational is possible!
Wilder’s Books:
For more look up
Renovated by Dr. Jim Wilder
Companion book Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You- Wilder
Renovated: You Can Get it Here
Living from the Heart:
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