How Filipino Culture Treats People With ASD: Navigating Autism as an Adult without Many Resources Pt 2 of 2

Guest Blogger: Job Brisby Eloja

How that culture has affected me

It’s exactly as I said above. This abusive culture has caused me to think I am weak and good for nothing. The toxic culture only made my condition worse. I became more prone to shutdowns and meltdowns, to the detriment of my marriage. It’s bad enough that I can’t regulate my emotions; the added burden of a culture that refuses to understand me is the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

Here is the story of my most severe meltdown so far. On a Thursday evening, June 12th, 2025, my wife decided she wanted a bit of space on her own to unwind after an exhausting day. Normally, I would not take issue with that request. But this time, I took it quite personally. My autistic brain interpreted it as me being pushed away entirely. With that, my body unanimously decided to walk away.

In normal circumstances, I would have just taken a stroll through the streets near our house. This time, I took the scenic route – a route that would take me to a road far, far away. I have never gone this path before, but I was determined.

To cut the long story short, I went missing for a whole night and half a day. I walked more than ten miles from home almost the entire time I was missing. Thank God a friend found me and convinced me to go home. Three cheers to him, too, because even if he didn’t understand my condition, he still offered a genuine helping hand.

There are people who understand

The good news for people with ASD like me is this: There are people willing to help. There are people who seek to understand. I have found that community, and I am forever grateful to God for giving me that.

One thing to keep in mind is seeking professional help. If you have to consult a psychologist, a counsellor, or any mental health professional, it doesn’t mean you’re going crazy. It only means you’re looking after your mental health. It’s just like going to the doctor for any physical illness. If there’s anyone who can understand you well, it’s these mental health professionals.

I consulted a psychologist only recently. I’m currently 31, and this year is when I got an actual diagnosis of Level 1 ASD. I’ve noticed the quirks in my behavior years ago, and my wife has too, but the prohibitive costs of mental healthcare in the Philippines has forced me to delay seeking professional help for years. But it’s still better late than never.

Another key lesson I learned is to stick to the people who can understand my situation and offer the kind of help that would benefit me. I now only interact with them – I do not share my story nor my diagnosis to anyone else. 

I have also minimized interactions with people who do not understand my condition. Based on experience, even talking with them for a while is mentally and emotionally draining. In turn, it makes me feel bad each time. And every time my emotional state becomes disturbed, the possibility of a shutdown or a meltdown goes up.

Don’t get me wrong here. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to people. I just want to make sure the people I do talk to can (and will) understand me without prejudice. I am only looking after my mental health, for this affects everything about me. Especially how I relate with my own family. 

Key takeaways

I hope my story has shed some light on what living with ASD is like in the Philippines. I have to contend with a culture that condemns me by default. It makes life all the more challenging for me and my family. 

I have even experienced a massive meltdown that caused me to go missing. I thought I would get condemnation from all sides, but thank God I received the opposite. Everyone close to me – and even those I never knew cared about me – reached out with Christlike love and concern.

With these challenges, seeking professional help is key. Talk to a trustworthy psychologist. If they are Christian, then all the better, but be wise to avoid dismissing “secular” psychologists. Even mental healthcare providers who don’t believe in God have some truth to offer regarding ASD. Even those who don’t believe in God can offer pieces of truth about His creations. And psychology is one form of those truths that God chose to reveal.

Insights from a mental health professional will enlighten you. They will help you understand yourself, your behaviors, patterns of thinking, and nearly everything that your spouse or children keep complaining about you. Having that official diagnosis gives a name to your struggles. With that, you will know what steps to take to make yourself a better husband and father.

If you’re in your 30s and beyond, it isn’t too late to get diagnosed. Again, consult a reliable mental health professional and ask for an assessment. I was 31 when I got my diagnosis. If you’re one of those adults with the self-awareness and desire to know what’s going on with you, give yourself a pat on the back. It takes a lot of courage, willingness, and conscious effort to seek professional help, especially when society stigmatizes those with ASD. 

Another hugely important thing is a support system. Your family can be your best support group, but you cannot always expect family members to understand, let alone tolerate the quirks of your behavior. After all, living with a person with ASD takes a huge toll on the mental health of their family members as well. 

If family does not suffice, get help from trusted friends, churchmates, colleagues, and other people from your circles. But be selective with the people you share your struggles with; make sure they can and are willing to understand your condition. Your goal is to be with a community of people who will encourage you and lift you up. 

Most importantly, always keep in mind that God cares for you. ASD is not a punishment from God. It isn’t your fault that you’re in the spectrum. His image is still in you – and that includes your condition. God Himself is the One who wired your brain differently. That means He has a purpose for your condition. You may not know it yet, but He will slowly show you what His plan is. 

We may not be like our neurotypical neighbors, but we can also thrive in our own ways. God has given us skills, talents, and abilities that we can use excellently for His glory.