Can media (podcasts, movies, books, T.V. shows) help build social relational skills?

By Carol Reller, Retired SLP (Written for Holmes’ Cinema Clues)

This is a great question. The simple answer: yes and no.

Let’s explore that question.

People interact with media for a variety of reasons. Oftentimes, people just want to be entertained. Sometimes people watch shows or listen to

podcasts with the intent to learn something. Children will watch shows or play games for entertainment, and as an aside, may learn a few things

along the way, although it may not be what parents want them to learn.

This type of interaction with media is generally implicit. Whatever is

absorbed is without much conscious thought. This is where interactions

with media will rarely help to build social relational skills.

Now let’s add intentionality. We have our child watch a specific show we

know teaches children about friendship. Or we watch a show with our

spouse that shows people cooking meals we like. If our child is

neurotypical, he may come tell us a few things he learned from the show. If the wife of the couple is neurotypical, she may recognize a meal her

husband would like, and she would put it on the menu to cook for him. If

there is neurodivergence; however, there often needs to be more than just intentionality in the choice of the show. There needs to be a person acting as a conduit to help transfer the relational information from the movie or podcast to the individual. Those on the spectrum often have great difficulty with generalization, which is the transfer of material from one situation to another. And if the information does get transferred, it is often used in the exact same way it was seen on TV, without taking a slightly different situation or context into account.

Let me give an example. I am neurotypical, and my husband is on the

spectrum. We were watching a show where a farmer dates various women looking for a life partner. While watching the show, I realized that there were many times the dates they went on would be fun dates for us. So, after we watched the show, I initiated a conversation that went like this:

Carol: “Hey Greg, did you get a lot of great ideas for dates we could have?”

Greg: “No. Was I supposed to?”

Carol: “Well, they went on lots of fun dates and I thought you might get

some ideas.”

Greg: “I didn’t know I was supposed to look for that.”

Carol: “Well, now that you know, did you see any you liked?”

Greg: “I can’t remember any.”

If I had wanted to use this show as a tool for building our social

relationship, I needed to not only be intentional in choosing this show, but also provide a way for the desired information to get into our everyday life.

I could do this by planning ahead. I could tell Greg that this show we are

watching has lots of great dates, and I would like him to watch it with the intention of remembering one date he could share with me that we could plan together. I would basically be a conduit to help transfer the idea on the show to our real life, thus using the show as a tool.

This strategy also works for children. This would require that you know

what your child is watching and talk with them ahead of time, or sit with

them and tell them that as you watch that show you are going to point out various emotions (as an example) that people have and then talk about them afterward. (You can also practice this skill of identifying emotions as you read books together.) Not every show needs to be a learning lesson, but if you want learning to take place, you need to help with the transfer of skills desired and application to real-life social situations.

Scripts are written lines, pages, or books that are used by actors and

actresses to memorize and recite when they will be in a play or a movie.

Scripting, as it relates to neurodiversity, is similar in that dialogue is

memorized from movies (or from what people have said) and it is then used as a mode of communication. This is most often not taught directly, but learned by watching a show. A line or phrase may stand out to this person.

As an example, a four-year-old may have a favorite tv show where a little

girl gets waffles for breakfast and says “I like waffles”. A child on the

spectrum with limited communication may watch this and relate this phrase to eating and adopt it as a phrase that means “I’m hungry”. So, when the child says “I like waffles” to his mom during the day, it doesn’t mean he wants waffles; it means he is hungry. A mom who hasn’t seen the show may try to make waffles or not understand why the child is saying “no!” to waffles when he asked for them. The child is using scripting to communicate needs or wants. One problem, however, is that sometimes it takes a bit of guessing on the part of the receiver. This is why it’s extremely helpful if the receiver (parent/teacher/sibling) is also

knowledgeable about where the phrase came from and the context it was

used. This will assist in understanding what the child is trying to

communicate.

Scripting is used by adults as well. Often for a similar reason. As an

example, our family has watched the movie The Princess Bride many

times. There is a phrase in the movie used by one character frequently, and he says “As you wish” when the princess asks him to do something.

So, at our house, when someone asks one of us to do something, and we

are happy to do it for them, we might say “As you wish”. Our family knows

the reference and what it means. This is considered socially appropriate.

But if a person uses that phrase solely to mean “I’m happy to do that” each and every time, they are scripting and even though it is used as

communication, it may be confusing to those that don’t know that reference and be considered abnormal to some.

In summary, I started with the question, can media help build social

relational skills and I said yes and no. The situations where media is not a tool for building social relations is sitting in front of a tv or movie screen and hoping for the best. The yes part is to be intentional about choosing media that has a valuable lesson to teach and there is a conduit, a person to explain, transfer, and help generalize the information to a social setting.

Scripting can be a valuable tool for communication given the receiver

understands the context in a movie or show from which it was taken. There is much to be learned from the media if it is approached with a plan in mind.

Carol will be joining Cinema Clues to discuss this a bit more in Season 2.

Want to see Holmes’ Cinema Clues: https://www.youtube.com/@HolmesCinemaCluesAutisminMedia