When Local Is Global: Seeing Through Her Eyes in a Neurodiverse Marriage

By Dan Holmes

In the book of Genesis, we read of God’s breathtaking acts:

• The creation of the heavens and the earth

• The formation of light before the sun

• A devastating flood that covered “the whole earth”

And yet—what “earth” meant to ancient people wasn’t what it means to us today.

They didn’t have a globe. They didn’t know about Antarctica or Australia.

But when they read that the flood covered “all the earth”, they understood:

Everything that mattered. Everything human. Everything familiar… was touched.

In their world, local was global.

This ancient truth doesn’t just help us read the Bible more faithfully—it gives us a lens to understand something far more personal:

The emotional and relational world of a wife in a neurodiverse marriage.

When Her Local Is His Global

Many neurodivergent husbands—especially those on the autism spectrum—process the world in systems. They often see life through patterns, big-picture frameworks, timelines, and logic trees.

They are capable of intense focus and deep love. But often, that love is expressed in ways that feel… off-target to their wives.

Why?

Because he thinks in global terms, but she is asking for something local.

She Says: “I Need You Here.”

She needs:

• A glance during a conversation

• Help getting the kids out the door

• A moment of empathy when her tone changes

• A non-defensive response when she brings up pain

These are small things, but they mean everything.

They are her world.

They are her “’erets”—her land. Her local.

He Responds: “I Love You, Don’t You See?”

And he means it.

He may have built her a house, never cheated, provided financially, avoided vice, and committed to staying in the marriage no matter what.

He says, “Look at everything I’ve done! This is proof that I care.”

To him, love is expressed in the big picture—his global perspective.

But here’s the heartbreak:

His global feels like a flood—but it never reaches her land.

He’s trying to cover everything, but he misses the one place she actually lives.

Theological Mirror: Noah and the Local Flood

In the Genesis flood account, many scholars—including John Sailhamer—argue that the flood was local in geography, but global in consequence.

Why?

Because it touched all human life.

It reached every part of the known world—everything that mattered to the people alive at the time.

So even if it didn’t cover every mountain on the planet, it was still a complete judgment, followed by a complete promise:

“Never again will I destroy all life with a flood.”

From a human perspective, it was total.

From God’s perspective, it was perfectly targeted.

What If He Loved Like That?

What if the neurodiverse husband began to see:

• That her world is his assignment

• That local isn’t small—it’s sacred

• That showing up in the moment isn’t less important than staying faithful for decades—it’s the thing that makes faithfulness felt

What if he realized that his wife doesn’t need the floodgates of his logic or effort, but the drop of presence that lands on her heart?

What if he understood that her “local” is not a lesser realm—it is her cosmos?

For Wives Who Are Drowning

If you’re that wife, you’re not crazy. You’re not needy. You’re not being too much.

You are simply asking for your husband to step into your world—to be a faithful image-bearer of a God who not only rules the heavens but walks in the garden.

You want a God-like love: one that touches the land.

Keep asking. Keep clarifying. Keep praying.

And when your husband misses it, remember: Jesus never did.

He sees your tears. He counts your sighs. He is with you in the floodwaters of confusion.

Final Word: Let Love Be Local

To the neurodiverse husband:

You don’t have to become someone else. But you can become more like Christ.

Christ didn’t just love humanity in theory—He stepped into our space. He made dinner. He washed feet. He stayed present.

His love didn’t remain global—it became incarnate.

And so can yours.