Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria — Understanding, Hope & Healing

Part 2 of 2 

by Jeremy Rochford TI-CLC, C-MHC, C-YMHC

How to Heal from RSD — Self-Advocating with Awareness

It’s important to note. Healing doesn’t mean you never feel rejection. It means you stop letting your triggers get the best of you and take an active role in reducing your impulsive reactions.

Here’s where I’ve found the most success, not only in my life, but in helping others.

1. Be Honest and Name It.

When that emotional wave hits, recognize it and say, “My brain is interpreting this as rejection, but that might not be the full story.” Living in simple self- awareness is the quickest way to start turning the tide.

2. Regulate Before You React.

Breathe. Stretch. Step outside. Throw on some music or watch some comedy. Whatever you need to do to break the cycle of impulsivity so you can remind yourself, “I’m safe, even if I feel rejected.” You’re teaching your nervous system that emotional intensity isn’t always danger which will start to allow yourself to question the validity of the intensity.

3. Reframe & Reclaim the Story.

Once regulated, ask yourself: “Is this actual rejection, or perceived?” “Is this proof I can’t do ANYTHING right, or just a moment that I wasn’t “perfect?” Living in a world of possibilities rewires our brains perception over time.

4. Repair and Communicate.

Once you’re calm, if you did respond impulsively, talk it out. Something like; “Hey, when you said X, my brain went into rejection mode, and I didn’t respond in the best way I could have. Can we reset?” Little things like this not only help to build connection, but it reduces conflict & increases communication.

If you’re struggling with some of these techniques, remember that coaching can help. You’re not fixing a flaw; you’re rewiring a reaction.

How to Love & Support Someone with RSD

If you love someone who wrestles with RSD, the best thing you can do isn’t to fix them—it’s to help them feel safe enough to grow into the person they truly are.

Here’s how to start:

• Listen without minimizing. “I can see that really hurt,” goes a lot further than “You’re

• overreacting.”

• Be consistent. Predictability builds trust & encourages growth.

• Clarify intent early. A simple “Hey, I’m not upset, just busy” can prevent hours of spiraling.

• Avoid sarcasm when emotions are high. Humor heals best ONLY after calm returns.

• Encourage growth, not dependence. Love with empathy and accountability.

I can’t emphasize this last one enough. We’re looking to find that fine balance between external accommodations and internal advocacy.

Here’s what that might sound like in action:

“Hey, I understand that what I said may have come across as criticism. That wasn’t my intention. I love you.”

That small moment of reassurance can change the whole trajectory of a relationship.

Hope and Healing: In Closing…

Here’s the truth: RSD is real. It’s not weakness. And it doesn’t have to define you or your relationship.

Healing doesn’t mean never feeling pain—it means not letting pain define you. It’s choosing curiosity over panic, calmness over shame, and problem solving over avoidance.

So maybe tonight, if you’re feeling like you’ve had enough of the effects of RSD in your life, take a moment to journal about a time this past week you’ve felt rejected. Ask yourself, honestly, was this a perceived or real experience of rejection? Who did it come from and what was their HONEST intentions? What did your nervous system need most in that moment—reassurance, space, understanding and how can you be open to those in a way that helps you, and doesn’t hurt others?

Start there.

Also, utilize the 4-step process we discussed a few paragraphs ago. A life free of feeling rejected and less than is possible. And it can start now.

If you'd like to connect further about what you've just read or to learn more about what we do at NeuroFam, you can reach me at Jeremy@NeuroFam.com

Want to hear Jeremy share his personal story with RSD? https://podcasts.apple.com/no/podcast/the-science-of-rejection-sensitivity-a/id1743989489?i=1000730716944